Revisionist History

Kids say the darnedest things.

I had occasion to ride the #15 Belmont bus. The #15 and I go way back. It winds from Northeast Portland all the way to uppity Northwest. Since I’ve moved to Lents, the area wedged between The Numbers and Felony Flats, I don’t ride the #15 on the east side much. This particular trip was amusing and educational, if you’re not a stickler for actual facts.

A boy and girl in the 18-20 year-old range were sitting behind me. Their conversation was hard to follow. I think they may have just came from getting matched tongue-piercings. (Hold the tip of your tongue and speak: That’s what it sounded like.) While I knew not to expect much from the conversation spillover, I got sucked in.

I will try to re-enact the conversation as follows, but be warned. I don’t think I can get myself down to that level of “Duhhh” this early in the morning…

(Bus approaches 39th Avenue.)

Boy: “Look! Dude musta got capped right near here.”

Girl: “How you know?”

Boy: “They named a street after him.”

Girl: “Who got capped?”

Boy: “Cesar Chavez. They got his name on the corner.”

Girl: “Wonder what he did?”

Boy: “Prolly wrong place wrong time.”

Girl: “You mean like MLK?”

Boy: “Nah, *he* got capped because a whitey didn’t like what he heard MLK saying. Whitey followed him to his motel room and capped him from behind as he was goin’ in.”

Girl: “Yeah, wasn’t it Hitler that shot him?”

Boy: “No, Hitler didn’t do that one. Some other pissed-off dude at a motel in the south.”

Girl: “I thought he was shot on a stage somewhere?”

Boy: “Nah, they just made it look that way. He pissed off some Southern cracker, and the cracker put one in the back of his head.”

Girl: “Oh. What Cesar whats-his-name do?”

Boy: “I dunno. I think he made salad stuff. You know, like Orville Redenbacher…”

We passed the food cart pod and Movie Madness, and they changed subjects. I stared out the window, shuddering as I pondered the fate of humanity.

Stay in school, kids.

Contributed by Cosmic Charlie (@CosmicCharlie97).

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2 Responses to Revisionist History

  1. Salad stuff? Orville Redenbacher and his brother invented the airplane. Duh.
    (Thanks for passing along the shudder. )

  2. WeatherServo9 says:

    Something interesting happens nearly every time I ride the #15. There must be something about that particular route.

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