Image blatantly stolen from TriMet’s FB page.
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Schadenfreude is the German word for taking pleasure in another person’s misfortune. I was guilty of that today.
Every TriMet regular has their personal pet peeves about other riders, and mine is the two-seater, the person who sits in one and occupies a second with their belongings. These excessive occupations are sometimes legitimate — a student with an elaborate presentation, someone treating their office to several plates of cupcakes, or anyone with a medical apparatus – but in most cases, I suspect that it’s a self-centered jerk who doesn’t want to sit in close confines with another person on a bus where everyone is in close confines with other people. This isn’t a limousine, folks, and if you didn’t pay a second fare, you haven’t earned a second seat.
Should not have eaten spurious leftovers,
But that’s hard to remedy now
I caught the westbound MAX at an inopportune time,
And now I’d better think fast lest I shit my pants
By the inimitable Dr. Something!
This story was submitted anonymously – no one wants to be known as a fare dodger!
There was the time I got away with riding the MAX without paying, by using Jedi mind tricks on a transit policeman.
Now before I start, I have to make the usual disclaimers about how I believe in law and order, I always pay my fare, “I am one of you” and so forth. Which is all true. It was quite an accident by which I found myself sitting blithely on a train without the proper comprobante de pago/boleto validado.
The #35 was standing room only when two gentlemen, locked in conversation, boarded and stood in front of me at the front of the bus. The one closer to me had a messenger bag over his shoulder and as he adjusted it to accommodate the other standing riders, I saw a small spider clinging to the strap by his shoulder.
I wanted to alert him about his tiny stowaway, but even at a safe distance, peoples’ reactions to spiders run the gamut from indifference to utter panic, and the curve skews heavily to the latter when the spider is identified as ON the person. Blurting, “Dude, you have a spider on you!” seemed like the least effective way to handle it, so I kept an eye on the tiny creature while I waited for an opportunity to interrupt him.